How to be The Clorax
CLOROX: Disclaimer: DO NOT DO THE STUFF ON THIS LIST!!! IT WILL SEVERELY HURT YOU!!!
For upon |Have you ever wanted to clean up other people’s attitude (and their skin cells that are dead or alive) at the same time? If so, then becoming the Clorax is ideal for YOU!!! The Clorox drinks bleach eats soap, and has pet sponges! What is not to want? Also, if he is bored, he eats Tide Pods. DO NOT TELL ANYBODY HE IS CHEATING ON CLOROX!!! So now that is settled, let us get onto the list.
First, you need to follow the lead of Clorox. CLOROX IS NOW YOUR LIFE!!! For example, if you want to buy a car, you must wash it with Clorox bleach. For another example, if you are thirsty, drink bleach. If you are hungry, eat a Clorox washer pod. PROBLEM SOLVED!!! THANKS, CLOROX!!!
Now that you have cleaned a car with bleach, and eaten a laundry pod, now you are ready to throw up! Yep, you heard me right, throw up. Now that you have eaten that stuff, you must throw it up or you will have severe medical problems, even though you probably already have them. Now that there is vomit on the floor, USE CLOROX BLEACH TO CLEAN IT UP!!! PROBLEMS ARE BEING SOLVED!!! THANKS, CLOROX!!!
Drink Bleach
Then, you need to drink bleach with orange food coloring in it. This will give you the color of the Clorax in a matter of 10 hours!!! The orange is a trademark color of the Clorax, it is proven. YOU ARE NOW ORANGE!!! THANKS, CLOROX!!!
After you are orange, you need to rip the sticker off of the Clorox bleach container, AND STICK IT ON YOU!!! Make sure to use waterproof super-glue so it will NEVER COME OFF! Pretty sweet, RIGHT!?!? You are just about the Clorax, the follower of Clorox. THANKS, CLOROX!!!
Finally, you need to go to the secretary of state or wherever you go to change your name. When you get there, change your name to “Clorax.” Make sure to tell them you don’t want a last name. If they do require you to have a last name, then change it to “Bleach.” YOU ARE NOW AN OFFICIAL CLORAX!!! THANKS, CLOROX!!!
Thanks for reading, and maybe becoming the Clorax! If you have any suggestions for the next writing, please write it in the comments! THANKS, CLOROX!!!
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21 Comments
Stingey is better
WAY! better but good writing
Stingy is much better
Good story, but I thought there would be a lot of comments like last time
That can happen, my friend!
We can make that happen
Cuz he speaks for the bleach
Yes he is
Stop you are using dead memes. Do like the whip or something
No!! I am the Clorax and I speak for the bleach!!!!
No!! We are the Clorax’s and WE speak for the beach!!!!
Great writing super funny!!! Thanks, Clorax!!
FINALLY! We got some comments going!
Is there such a thing as waterproof super-glue?
Yeah, It is called Gorilla Glue
Would you turn orange if you drink bleach with orange food coloring?
Ask somebody to try it and you will find out!
Do how to make Bleach Taste Good!-Mr.Pigeon
Who’s Mr postman?
Yeah, but where is the fun in that?
The article was originally published here.
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