“Are you sure your skull isn’t full of super glue?!” That’s what the old me would say. The new me just calmly says: you can use an emery board to file the glue off your hands.

Alternatively, to get this powerful adhesive off your paws, you can use acetone, nail polish remover, hydrogen peroxide, apple cider vinegar, or white vinegar. “Use it to clean the super glue off your brain!” the old me would say. But the new me says, “Acetone is actually good for removing superglue from anything, almost.”

“Way to go, butterfingers! Can you do nothing right?! WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER??!” Twelve months ago I might have shouted that at my kid. These days I say, “Namaste,” and thank him for the practice in patience.

Just grab the acetone and dab it on the affected area. Since acetone can damage plastic, try it on a small part of whatever you’re cleaning first. Or you can try nitromethane, which is often times even marketed as a “super glue removing liquid.” Soaking the plastic in white vinegar in glue can remove it too.

Glass got with glue?! Alliteration is more fun than getting mad; that’s what I’ve learned! As I said, acetone is good for removing Superglue from anything. So, grab some acetone or isopropyl alcohol. Rub and scrub gently. If you gotta, you can use sandpaper, a scrubber, a knife, whatever. If you got it on your phone somehow, then use a moistened soft cloth. I’m not mad, I swear!

If you have superglue on wood, you can use nail polish remover or acetone. But if you’ve got wood stuck to wood, like on the floor, you can use coconut or olive oil. Once they come apart, scrub the area with sandpaper. That’s a cool trick Dad picked up, right?

Because Dad was doing a craft on his own and dropped a piece of wood glue side first onto the floor. Ain’t no thang but a chicken wang because Dad’s been learning about removing Superglue from anything! You can also put your coconut oil in your coffee so that you get extra energy.

If you have the power to remove superglue from anything, make sure to include clothes and hair.  That’s what we really care about. Dad doesn’t have the funds to buy new clothes. That’s why I’m always on the lookout for the coolest things you can buy at a military surplus store. So, I’ve soap-soaked plenty of a suit to get out super glue. I’ve even made a paste of baking soda and detergent or baking soda and white wine vinegar to make things easier for me. I’ve applied lemon juice. But the main thing is you want to remove the glue as gently as a hug.

Dad doesn’t have a carpet, so he doesn’t have to do this trick. This is a tile floor studio! But if you do have to clean the carpet, wrap a comb in tissue paper and make the teeth of the comb come out. Acetone might be good for removing superglue from anything but it’s no bueno if it soaks into the carpet’s base.

So, the tissue paper catches the acetone while you rub the affected area with a cotton ball full of acetone. And it can’t be a plastic comb because the acetone will likely eat into the plastic. See, it’s a whole ordeal! Plus, you gotta repeat this process for a while. That’s why it’s great that my studio has hardwood floors.

Just cutting out the affected area is a way of removing Superglue from anything. I had to get rid of my beard because I got super glue in it! I could have tried to save the beard by using cotton balls to apply nail polish remover to break up the Superglue, but the glue was in there so badly that I just didn’t want to bother. So, no more beard!